Losing somebody you love is arguably the most difficult challenge you’ll ever have to overcome. For most, there’s nothing more heartbreaking than facing every day without someone you treasure. There is no universal handbook for coping, but there are ways to get through tough times. Here are some helpful tips for those dealing with loss.

1. Let yourself experience emotions

Grief triggers a huge range of emotions, many of which are unexpected and hard to manage. We all associate bereavement with intense sadness and misery, but it’s also common to feel angry, frustrated, and in some cases, relieved. Sometimes, death comes after a long fight or a gradual decline, which can be cruel. Whatever emotions you experience when you lose somebody, let yourself feel. Don’t try to suppress feelings or thoughts or feel guilty if you don’t feel a certain way. Everyone is different and one day can be completely different from another. It’s very common to go through a roller coaster of emotions and to encounter periods that seem harder or easier than others. Talking is helpful if you are ready to open up. Don’t put pressure on yourself if you need more time. 

2. Celebrate your loved one’s life

It’s hard to celebrate somebody’s life when you feel sad, but when you’re ready, try to focus on the time you had together and the joy that person brought you and others. People grieve differently. Some people will look at photos and watch videos the moment they lose somebody while others may not be able to see their face in a photograph or watch a video for days, weeks or even months.

Take your time and find ways to remember and celebrate them. Plan a funeral service, design a headstone with a special message or explore places to store ashes at sites like Memorials.com – Urns. Plan an outing every year on your loved one’s birthday or get everyone together to do something for charity in their memory. Do whatever feels comfortable for you and enables you to cherish their memory and the relationship you had. 

3. Find ways to nurture yourself

Though it can be easy to neglect yourself while grieving, during this period of sadness it’s essential to take extra good care of yourself. Find comfort and nutrition in the meals provided by friends and family, step outside and get a little sunshine, consider writing in a journal, read a book or two on grief, and listen to music that helps you feel your feelings. These are just some ways to prioritize self care while grieving.

4. Give yourself something to look forward to

Keeping busy is helpful for some people, but it can come at a price. If your natural instinct is to find things to do, that’s fine as long as you take time to process what has happened and you allow yourself to grieve. If you don’t want to see anybody or do anything for the first few days or weeks, that’s also fine. Move at your own pace. Once you’re open to seeing friends and family members or being more socially active, give yourself things to look forward to. Get some dates on the calendar. Always remember that you don’t have to commit to anything. If you wake up in the morning and you’re dreading going to a party or an outing that’s been planned for a while, you don’t have to go. Wait until you’re ready. Your close friends and family members should understand the need for flexibility. For more tips on socializing after losing a loved one, take a look at this article https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/grief-and-mourning/coping-grief-and-loss. 

Grief is one of the hardest challenges most of us face. There’s no instruction manual for dealing with loss, but there are ways to muddle through and make every day more manageable. Allow yourself to feel and experience different emotions. Give yourself time to heal and don’t put pressure on yourself. Celebrate your loved one’s life, let the people close to you help and give yourself something to look forward to when you’re ready to start seeing loved ones. 

Photo by Liza Summer