If you’re somehow unfamiliar with ghosting, consider yourself lucky. Ghosting is the act of disappearing on someone you were dating, talking to, or in a relationship with. It occurs when a romantic prospect or partner decides to cut off all communication with the other person. Sometimes, you can see it coming while other times it happens when you least expect it.  Regardless of how or why it happened, there’s no denying that it’s an inconsiderate and cowardly way of ending things.

While your first instinct after being ghosted is to blow up Casper’s phone demanding answers, it’s healthier and wiser to take the high road and cut your losses. This doesn’t mean you can’t be sad, angry, or bitter. It’s normal to feel this way. But, after taking a few days to mourn your loss… it’s time to think about what it is that you’re really losing. Here are 10 reasons you should be grateful for being ghosted.

1. Ghosters lack communication skills.

While someone you are casually dating doesn’t owe you their time or a relationship, honesty is basic human decency. Someone who isn’t capable of expressing their feelings or lack thereof isn’t someone you want to be in a relationship with. If they’re incapable of having a semi-difficult conversation now, just imagine how much worse it could have been down the road.

2. Ghosters are more than a little selfish. 

To a degree, everyone is a little selfish. But, ghosters are arguably more selfish than the average person. As much as they want to justify their ghosting, ghosting almost always occurs out of self-interest. They can delude themselves into thinking ghosting you is the ‘kind’ thing to do, but in reality, it’s what’s most convenient for them.

3. Ghosters are spineless.

Someone who doesn’t have the courage to be upfront with you isn’t someone you want to waste your time with. Technology has caused a disconnect in dating, but the best of people still know how to face their problems rather than hiding behind a screen and pulling the digital plug.

4. Ghosting is childish.

Those who refuse to use their words and resort to using the silent treatment to solve problems aren’t in a good place to begin or maintain a healthy relationship. They lack emotional maturity and have some growing up to do. Unless you want to deal with a man/woman-child consider their disappearance a blessing!

5. Ghosting is lazy.

Ghosting is taking the easy way out. It doesn’t take long to send a short message expressing your change in heart. Not doing so because you want to avoid confrontation not only makes you a coward, it makes you a lazy coward.

6. Ghosting can be manipulative.

Some people ghost you with the intention of never talking to you again, others ghost to leave the door open. By not officially ending things or giving you proper closure, it’s easier for them to reappear in your life at a later time. Most ghosting scenarios are unforgivable, so when/if a ghoster reappears don’t give them the satisfaction of a second chance or forgiveness.

7. You’re free as a bird.

Though they may have led you on, at least they didn’t prolong the inevitable. When someone isn’t that into you, doesn’t care for you, and/or isn’t a good person, eventually, they will cut their ties. (Even if that means doing so in one of the most heartless ways.) Those of us who were ghosted early on should be thankful we didn’t waste more time than necessary on said person.

8. Closure can be found on your own terms.

It’s easier to receive closure when it’s given to you, but it’s not impossible to achieve it on your own. Because not everyone is going to give you closure, it’s important to find it within yourself. Accept the situation for what it is, eliminate negative thoughts & memories, give yourself the apology they never gave you, and allow yourself to move the hell on.

9. Rejection is a great motivator 

Rejection hurts, but it can provide you with amazing insight and incredible motivation. It makes you want to do better, to be better… not only to become a better you but to attract better people. Channel your anger in productive ways by spending more time at the gym, pursuing your passions, and turning anger into creative energy. You’ll be better for it.

10. You deserve better

Ghosting is disrespectful. Pretending someone no longer exists just because you’re no longer interested in their existence is a pretty shitty thing to do.  You deserve someone who values you and is kind and courteous enough to respect your feelings.

So, the next time someone ghosts you don’t try to summon them back into your life. Instead, keep your dignity and let ghosts be ghosts.

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash